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Monday, January 14, 2013

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Please read this entire post before watching the videos

The brutal honest truth

Some things, Iv'e never told you, some things you'll wish I'd never told you, and some things you already knew but as a mom of 6 kids, I like to repeat myself.

I'm getting a little tired of looking at this open fleshy chest on my sweet girl. Enough is enough already, it is icky and tomorrow morning can't come soon enough for that.

The first 24 hours post op, Ivy didn't even look like Ivy. Well to be honest with you, she still doesn't look anything at all like Ivy, but on that first day it was worse. It was tough. The room was being kept at a meat locker like temperature, there was quite a lot of blood still draining, chest wide open, and then her little body paralyzed. Her eyes 3/4 closed, looking so far far away. I'm sorry to tell you it was really hard to look at her. To sit there and remind myself that this was Ivy. But I have done this 5 times now and just as it hasn't gotten any easier, it really has actually become more painful. I just can not believe that the story we are living is really honestly truthfully about a child who has been through 5 open heart surgeries in 10 months but 4 in the past 10 weeks! How on earth could one child, so small, so sick, be so strong? Do you think God intended for her to stay in China? To die in China waiting for a family? I will be absolutely honest with you again, I questioned my desision to come to Boston when I found out that rounds 1,2,3,and 4 were still not enough. I never wavered in my decision, but I questioned if it was fair to Ivy.
That this precious child who still had not been set free, would once again go under the knife. I wondered if the child I thought needed us and we knew needed her, was being put through Hell because of us. And as I said goodbye to my kids at home, dreading the journey we were about to embark once more, after a thousand tears were shed for my childs suffering, I was awakened. And God reminded me that if we were not to by Ivy's parents, He would have closed every door that lead us to her. He would have made the money go away, the approvals never happen, the desire of our hearts to fade, and the road to China a distant memory. But that was not the case. He made a child with the will and the strength of a giant! He made her just the perfect way that she is. He used her because she is that special to Him, that favored by her Father! I know it sounds crazy and trust me, I would not have minded if He chose another child instead of this one, but her didn't. He chose Ivy and he chose our family and he equipped us and thats that! I know this. But I wanted to journal here that I did have doubt, that I did question if we were doing the right thing by trying to save Ivy's life. And of course we were.  It just hurts to see her suffer so much. And it hurts to always be in the wrong when you tell her, no more, this is it! 

 Another thing I have not told you is that when Ivy came back from the OR on Saturday, they told me that they were going to do a CT scan on her brain. Her pupils were asymmetric and while it was likely caused by the massive drugs, it could also be that the dialysis had caused her brain to bleed. Panic of course kicked my butt. As much as I wanted to cling to the words, it's likely the drugs, I just didn't have a good feeling. You know the old saying, if it could happen, it happens to Ivy. Ya, I hate that part too..
Anyway, they did the scan and sure as day, blood!
I was a nervous wreck. For a while... And then I remembered that whatever it be and whatever it lead to, It's out of my hands and she will be exactly who she was created to be. There were CT scans through the night and yesterday was her last one. The blood is not in the brain, it is on the upper left side of her head between her scull and tissue. The blood is separated. Something that usually takes a good week or so to happen. This means that the cells have settled at the bottom and the fluid is on the top. So this tells us that the bleed did not happen as a result of her being on bypass, it also did not happen due high blood pressure and the blackout she had on the day we ended up in the hospital. These were all being said as possible, but not anymore. 
The new said diagnosis is that it happened as a result of the TPA. Her Asymmetrical pupils were like that from the meds. But they lead the team to performing the CT scan. Neurologists were in her room a great deal that night. At least every hour or two. Everyone with their own theory. Until they heard she had been on TPA. When I told them that her every wound from her surgical history and lovenox injection site, picc site and IV's were all oozing with blood by the last day of the TPA they concluded that the timing and the looks of the blood all matched. What did not match was that it was in this free space, no pressure on the brain at all, not in the brain at all, just minding its own business. And while I thanked God for that little space and that little miracle, I remembered something. Thursday night, Dr Baird was in our room. He told me that he wanted to do another round of TPA on Ivy. He said that sometimes it takes 2 to 3 rounds to break a stubborn clot. I was more against it than anything I had ever heard. And this man..... he knows what he is doing and I totally respect and trust every decision he makes for our child. I adore this man and the attention he has given our daughter! But something brought out the mama bear.... and the mama bear said NO. I told him how much I respect him and all of his choices for Ivy. And then I explained to him how Ivy had escaped a brain bleed that first round and I just didn't have a good feeling about doing it again. I told him that I went in to every single fluoroscopy with her and there was no question that the valve leaflet had zero movement each time no better than the one before. I told him the doses that they did and how they doubled and tripled it. I told him it was on her for 48 hours.  He told me that he too didn't think it would change much but that he just hated the thought of opening this poor baby up again if he absolutely didn't have to. The visit ended with a mutual agreement that we should move forward with surgery. In the end, had we run the TPA, what would have happened? I don't know, obviously it would not have changed the fact that there was scar tissue stoppin the valve from working, and clearly the rest of the story would not have had a happy ending. I'm glad I trusted my gut and now I know what you all mean when you keep saying that I was so much meant to by Ivy's mom. 
And so the great news is that the old blood is being absorbed by her body, there is no bleeding going on and it is not near her brain. They will follow up with a few more CT scans before we go home but that is all for now. She was acting completely normal before her surgery and that gives us all the information we need to know.
She does need to start getting post operative anticoagulant pretty soon. So the neurologists are meeting with the cardiologists tomorrow to discuss what would be the safest route to take with Ivy. There is no better place for us to be than here where they take such precautions and do so much more than the average joe!

And it's with great joy I tell you, Ivy's cardiac function and overall healing, continues raise the roof in room 9! EXCITING!!

And I leave you tonight with the most fantastic news. A bit of something only my family knows! Tonight, Ivy woke up!!! They lifted the paralysis meds and she started to move a little. Very little. They call this a holiday. It means that they leave the paralysis meds off just long enough to see her move all of her extremities and be sure there are no issues. Well, fully sedated, the next thing I know, with her eyes still 3/4 closed, she started kicking and waving. She was pointing with her poor little splinted hand. She had no idea where she was pointing, but she knew she wanted water and she knew there had to be some around here somewhere!!!! She squeezed my hand. She pushed her blanked off of herself. And when I asked her if she wanted a sponge with water she nodded yes. Remember she has the sedatives of a horse going in her and she is responding to me!!!!! And when we brought her the tiny sponge with water and she saw that it was not a water bottle we were offering her, she pushed it away and shook her head NO and tears streamed down her face. 
The video I am about to post is so extremely personal. So incredibly private and so very raw. And yet I share it with you because you need to see what a miracle she is. You think you know, but you have no idea until you have seen it 5 times! Look at what she has gone through 5 times!! You think lifes not perfect? You are right! It's not! But it is what you make of it and by golly this baby is making it GOOD!! Lives and hearts are made new! Because you fell in love. With a little girl!











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66 comments:

Yvette said...

Tears, besides your honesty that gives us all a strength in Him, and a faith in seeing your precious girl - who looks fabulous (I'm a nurse) but oh the love you display for a child that transcends color, race and beginnings. THe love of a child not born of your womb but of your heart. COntinued prayers for sweet girl - and remembering her stuggles waking last time this alone is a miracle!

Ruthie said...

Those videos.My heart breaks. No words. Prayers.

jennifer said...

What a sweet baby girl. I can't imagine living that 5 times over. What an amazing testimony this child has already. I cannot wait to see the video of her running around with her sister!
You are an inspiration and so is that sweet girl of yours! Thank you for bringing her home and sharing a small piece of her with us!!!

Sharon said...

Ivy Joy is an ABSOLUTE MIRACLE! I loved seeing her moving her arm and leg about! So emotional to see and know without a doubt that prayer works. Continued prayers and thanks again Mary for sharing so much with us! {{{hugs}}}

Sarah said...

Precious, perfect baby girl! Your love has provided a second womb for Ivy to spring forth and show the world what an amazing little girl she is! Such a perfect post, Mary! Ivy IS meant to be here and meant to be YOUR little girl!

the artist's daughter said...

I just wept when I saw this. We pray for you and mourn with you and rejoice with you. Bless you for being her mama. We love her so much! I cannot describe what a special little girl we feel that she is. She is truly one of the greatest of these. You are so lucky to be the mother of such a huge powerful spirit. She has done and will continue to do great things. Bless you!

Chinazhoumom said...

May you both continue to have the stength to get thru all of the mountains in front of Ivy Joy...!
Praying in Florida
Carol M

JulieM said...

God has clearly chosen you to be this mighty little Asian princess's mama! He knew before she was knit together in her mother's womb that you would walk this road with her, you would be the mother to stand by her side through the highs and the lows and you would be the mother would give him the GLORY in it all! Blessings and strength to you Mary! May he continue to equip you and your family and heal your precious girl. We stand in AWE!

Betty said...

The Spirit within this child is beyond belief! Speechless right now, but oh what strength with her in the Spirit (s) of her family and from the love of God...Powerful...

Paige Code said...

just precious...watched your entire journey. have always been a fan of IVY JOY and am continuing to pray for her. Thanks so much for allowing us to see into your "room" ...it's an incredible view of your precious girl and her loving mother...we will continue to pray for the doctors and your family...and for that sweet precious baby girl...praying that God receives full glory and that this little girl is lifted up daily in prayer by all who believe in the lord jesus.
paige tampa florida

ashley said...

She is a miracle.... her strength and determination leaves me tearful and weak. I have so much love for your baby girl, whom I've not met but have the honor to pray for. God bless you, Mary. Your faith is an inspiration and your daughter is the most beautiful little soul that I have ever known.

the beatties said...

Thank you for your frank words and touching videos - we are privileged to be allowed in our small way to share your deep love for your precious little daughter. (We are grandparents to two beautiful girls also adopted from China and no words can adequately describe the depth of our love for them)

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

Oh I am so grateful that you shared this with us tonight! Tears. She really is such a joy to so many across the globe! Praying for continued healing.

KK

Ladyblog said...

She is an incredible child and you are an incredible mama! I've never cried so many sad and happy tears over someone I've never met. Ivy Joy is such a special person and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for her.
Please Lord, spare Ivy any more pain and suffering and heal her as only YOU can.

Thank you for sharing her story with us.
Praying for you all!!

Rebecca in FL

Kristi said...

I can't imagine going through this once, let alone five times! I really can't. This is a little girl who clearly has great things in store for her. It is so clear you were meant to be her mama.

Candy said...

Thank you so much for sharing. You are an inspiration to many. I'm so happy you didn't give up on your sweet child. She is one very special little girl. Continued strength to you. I hope it's not too long until you get the okay to travel back home for your entire family to be together again. Looking forward to seeing Ivy on her trike with her sister.

Sister Kim said...

Thank you for sharing...Ivy is a precious gift to show God's glory! And you and your family are also an amazing sign of God's glory. You are correct that life is not perfect, but our Lord is perfect. We are all here for a reason known to God...and you are right, life is what we make of it. I always get centered and humbled when I witness a death or go to a funeral...because the purpose for our lives is our relationship with God and how we live that out...It's really the only thing that matters when you get to the end...so we need reminders like Ivy...to LIVE life with JOY always... I hold you in my prayers...S. Kim

Anonymous said...

Such a sweet, sweet baby. It is so,so emotional to see her moving and responding!! Such a precious little love. Continued prayers for all of her family, too. And for mama bear who is so wise and so brave.
Much love~Holly

Turtle Mom said...

Tears of joy here in Indiana for your precious Ivy Joy! What a little miracle she is and what a blessing! She is such a strong little girl. Thank you for sharing such personal information and moments. Continued prayers for Ivy, your family and her medical providers. GOD IS GREAT!!!

Anonymous said...


Thank you

deborah said...

She is SO amazing...and, SO wonderfully made, as the Psalmist said of himself. We all are. The body is a most fascinating machine that works in wonderous ways and without telling all it's parts to do what they do. Truly happy for you and Ivy Joy and the rest of the clan that waits each day to hear good news about the little wonder. Thanx so much for sharing the depths of your thoughts and feelings. It's a good thing. :)

Monica K. said...

Thanks be to God for her very life and all that your family and the doctors are doing for her. She is a miracle and your courage is indescribable. Thank you for sharing your very personal words tonight. We continue to pray for all of you tonight

Anonymous said...

What a precious little fighter. God is using you to a great teacher, Ivy Joy!!! You have one incredible Mama...and family!!

Thank you, Mary for sharing your story and emotions with us. As a special needs Mama of a physically challenged Empress, YOU have renewed my resolve, just when I needed encouragement. You have taught me more than you know about being a Mom. You and Ivy ARE meant to be together as a forever family! You are totally right...all in God's plan.

Praying for continued healing!!
Dawn--from Western New York

alexa said...

God knew when He brought Ivy in your life that you will be the best mother, the best family for that precious kid.
I admire you so so much, your strenght is inbelievable and what can we say about Ivy? She is a miracle, she is amazing.
Thank you for sharing all that with us. That can seems strange or unbelievable but you and Ivy changes so many things in my life (faith is the first one).
Tears here (a lot!) but tears of joy.
Big hugs for you and a sweet kiss to your pink warrior.

Aus said...

Watching the videos - somewhere in her eyes I see an understanding - that she 'knows' that what is being done is in her best interest...I see that spark that you mention - that one that endears her to all her caregivers...and I know in my heart of hearts that you are correct - both in your decisions about her care - but most importantly - that you are her mom and her family...

And so while I know you hate what is happening - I know too that for this moment in time it is good, and right, and proper!

continued prayers - and hugs -

aus and co.

dawn said...

You are an amazing mother and an inspiration to many. Such a hard post to read, I cried the whole way, I cried for Ivy and for your Mama heart.

May you both be back home soon, together with the rest of the family.

sierrasmom said...

Mary , I thank God for the day that somehow he led me to your blog back in March.. Ivy and your family have taught me so much. Your girl is a fighter and so are you. Thank you for sharing her and your story with us all.
Love and hugs
Kathie

GrandmaSherl said...

Tears streaming down my face. thank-you Jesus for bring Ivy into your lives. No child should have to indure 5 operations with Momma very near but this is God's plan. Prayers for all of you! Very well written!

DiJo said...

Mary,
Beautiful words, beautiful child! Miracle after Miracle we have witnessed... God has used your tiny and mighty warrior to shine His light on all of us... To help us see a glimpse of the "un-seen!"

Mary, I am so thankful that you had the courage to sacrifice self, and say, "YES Lord send me..." I know it has been HARD.. Beyond HARD.. But, I also know that when you are in God's Will he not only equips but He blesses in a mighty way!

Thank you for sharing Ivy Joy's amazing story with us.. It's so intimate... And so incredibly inspiring.

Praying that all goes smoothly today so that soon you will be offering your sweet girl a "cup of cold water!"

Love and prayers from MN,
Diana

Annette Duty said...

So glad that Ivy's actually awake for a bit. Sorry she cried as she wanted water. It won't be long and she'll be drinking, stink eye, and then packing up and going home and giggling with Lexi! I have no idea what you're going through, what you're seeing on daily basis. I know you're strong and I also know you are human and you're a Mama - no matter how strong a person can only look at such a tiny angel as Ivy and ask "why must she go through this?" We do not have those answers. I do see you have so many coming together to pray. So many coming together to see a miracle from God. We don't have the answers on "why?" but we all have God and trust in Him that He knows the best. I pray for a fast recovery for little Ivy Joy that she may come home soon and start playing, eating, and living so very soon. I remember my Sunday School child, Samantha, and how hard it was for her when she went through open heart surgery and yet I was amazed at how fast she recovered. Yet we all know Ivy has gone through this 5 times and such a tiny little girl - it will take time to fully recover. I pray without ceasing that for now this little angel can heal, heal, heal, heal, heal - please God, let this be a healing and recovering time for her. Both her Mom and her need some time of just healing and going back to a "normal" life after such an ordeal. I imagine your family is missing you and you are missing them. I pray you'll be home soon and things will go smoothly for you all. You are in my thought and prayers all the time. God Bless each of you. I pray for strength and peace for all as you continue the healing journey.

Carmen said...

Oh Mary, there are times of doubt in every hard trial but you know just what to do when those arrows are pointed - recount God's faithfulness. You didn't get here by coincidence but by God's plan and His grace will carry you through to the end. Praying for your protection.
Love and prayers

Laine said...

Oh sweet girl...sweet momma!
We love yall and are praying for yall fervently!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

When you say YES to God, oh, the places you go, the things you see.
Your YES for Ivy Joy was just what the Father wanted.
She is a courageous fighting miracle, and Mary, so are you.
Prayers today for blessings and a great big praise report at the end of this day.
Praying some more in SC

Kari said...

Praying for Ivy and your family from Wisconsin.

Anonymous said...

Oh, my word! Thank you for sharing your heart with all! The video didn't show up on my computer--I follow you on blogger and was just wondering!
In Christian Love,
Grandma to Many - 2 from China

Jboo said...

Amazing -- your little miracle Ivy and you and your family. There is so much power in prayer and I know you feel can feel it. Praying for you all and continued recovery for the litte Miss Miracle.

kim said...

God is doing His miracle using all of us and Dr. Baird. As any truly loving parent you do whatever you can for your child. God has given you super human strength to walk this journey. Your honest, raw and real emotions are humbling. So happy and thrilled that all the massive prayers are working !

Kim said...

I have to react to the comment ( no longer here thank you) left by the "anonymous" aka coward who had the nerve to "express" their opinion that the wrong decisions had been made for Ivy for the wrong reasons.
Dear Crazy Anonymous,
Do you not think that if it was God's plan for Ivy to only go through one surgery she would be with Him now? He's God! He takes, He gives, He is all powerful! You really think that moms and doctors have power over Him? This life is not destined by moms and dads. Ivy is here because God needs her here right now. Trust me when we pray, or more importantly, her parents pray, they pray for His will. Wherever He chooses to heal her, is their desire too. They, most parents, love their children that much.
If I have learned one thing in life it is you cannot ever know what you would do in any situation unless you are walking in those same shoes. Judge not least ye be judged!
Shame on you to criticize a family who has done nothing but followed God's will, has put their child in God's hands, given and sacrificed above & beyond for the life of an innocent helpless child that many had given up on...shame on you! Idiot!
As someone who feels very honored to know, even briefly, this incredible family, I like to thank all who have been so positive, so supportive and who have prayed for Ivy. The prayers have been heard and answered.
For others, remember what you should have learned in kindergarden: If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!

Jen said...

I am checking in daily from Cincinnati and praying for your sweet girl. What a miracle! Also, I think it is normal to doubt. All we can do is continue to pray and realize that everything is in His hands. I'm so grateful for a wise Father in heaven who knows what is best and gives to us perfectly. God bless you all!

Kristiana said...

Thanks and glory be to God! My kids and I are praying for Ivy and for your family. Only our awesome and loving God can use such suffering and weakness to make something beautiful and real! You were written into Ivy's days as her mom before her little life began. You are ordained to this calling - God has and will continue to equip you. It is our divine calling as Mothers. I'm so thankful to God for this gift. Keep on keeping on! You are covered in prayer.

NanaNee said...

Wow! What a testimony of going through the firey furnance and knowing Jesus is in there with you!! God burned the ropes off of Shadrach's arms and left him without even the smell of smoke! If your testimony to God's loving care and grace are the reason for this trial, may it reach hearts that have been hardened against Him, and soften them. But best of all, we praise Him for His healing power and even the smallest comforts provided today for Ivy and for you! Still praying for the healing process to go smoothly and quickly. Blessings, Renee in Texas

snekcip said...

Beautifully written as always. Still praying for Precious Ivy.


*There was no video on my computer*

Anonymous said...

Mary - the video will not show up on my computer. Maybe you had to take it down and that is okay. If nothing else, the past 10 weeks have shown you know what is the right thing to do. Ivy has touched me in a way that I can't even explain. It is not about me anyway - it is about her and her will to survive and your family's love to support her. One of my biggest hopes is that she walks away from this surgery never to return in an emergency situation. Planned surgeries for the valve as she grows - fine. But no more emergencies. I hope she runs, laughs, plays, learns, loves.....all of the things she deserves. As a mom to three Chinese girls, I consider Ivy a part of my extended family. We are all joined together by the experience of the miracle of adoption. There have been days when I've read your blog and said to myself that I'm not sure I would have the courage to go on. But you did go on and you did trust your gut and you have gotten Ivy here and I believe this is it. Every surgery, while traumatic, taught you and the MDs more about her special heart. Every surgery brought you closer to to the answers you need. Just think if you would have never found the suture, the scar tissue, etc. Each was a step to where you are now. And while the pain is fresh on your heart and Ivy's body, they are behind you and only hope and God's love is in front of you. Your journey has been long in a very short amount of time but all signs are pointing in the right direction and yesterday is now a memory. You are a special woman who has taught me courage and grace. Ivy is a special girl who has taught me endurance and faith. I can't wait to follow Ivy's story to where she is on the back of Lexi's bike once again. Love being sent your way, Beth

DiJo said...

Dear Anonymous,

When I first read your awful comment, I wanted to protect my friend and lash out at you too. But, my guess is there is a reason you come here to vent... The enemy has convinced you that hurting Mary, is justified... That makes me sad. My guess is you have experienced the loss of a child. Maybe even a heart baby. If so, I am sorry for that. The Bible is full of stories of miracles.. If it was written today, you would most likely find Ivy's story there too. Instead, God has chosen Mary to be the voice of hope to those who need it.. You obviously do not know this family, or you would never be so hurtful. They could have chosen to quietly deal with this.. But, instead they have used their testimony to encourage others in their faith. Ivy is saving hearts for eternity... It's clear why God has saved this precious child! And, it is clear why the enemy doesn't want it shared...

So please make this your last attempt to crush Mary's spirit. It's not working and it never will.
And, if you ever have the desire to lash out in this way again, have the courage to sign your name.

Prayers for you to find another way to heal.

~Diana

Cheryl S. said...

So very amazed at the fighting spirit of your little princess. Prayers of continued healing for her and strength for her Mama.

Cheryl in Alabama

Erin said...

All I can say is WOW! Ivy Joy is just a precious miracle child! Her life has a purpose and God is proving that everyday! Mary, what a mommy you are! God hand picked you to be Ivy Joy's mom for a reason. God Bless the both of you! Still praying in TX.!

Fannie said...

Your post brought me to tears and the video of Ivy Joy makes me smile! That little girl was meant to be your daughter and meant to live! God gave you a fighter!!

Mary, your honesty and faith are truly amazing. It is no wonder God chose you to be Ivy's Mommy. I'm praying so hard that 5 times is MORE THAN ENOUGH and that God will now please heal Ivy's body and make her whole. While he has used her to change all of our hearts, I pray that she's done enough work for him and she can now be left to just be a happy, healthy toddler.

Lots of love & prayers from NYC,
Fannie

Ashley said...

Oh Mary - You have such a strong, strong girl. She is truly amazing!!

Blessings and Miracles to you, Ashley

Holly said...

Dearest Mary and family,
Thank you so very very much again for what you have done for Ivy! Thank you very much for loving Ivy so big. Yes, you are right Mary; you are the best Mommy that God chose to be Ivy's mother. We love you all very much!! We are here to support you every step of the way. Love,respect and praying fervently!!
Holly

April Carpenter said...

Thank you for sharing your journey. I need only to read your blog to know that our God is sovereign. Praying for you, your family, and especially sweet Ivy Joy.

Jamie Lynn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jamie Lynn said...

Mary, thank you for your honesty! Your love, strength and faith in God are inspiring. I cannot imagine what it has been like for you to travel around the world to bring Ivy home, to have to travel across the country for her care or to have to endure this 5 times!!!
I only have one daughter and she will most likely be my only child. I know how incredibly difficult it was for me to hand my 4 month old daughter to the nurses and doctors at BCH for her surgery. I remember how heart wrenching and difficult it was to see her after her surgery. That puffy, rosy colored little girl with all the lines and tubes did not look like my daughter. No one can prepare you for that. On my desk I have a photo from her time at Children’s that they took and made into a Mother’s Day card. It is a reminder to me of how far my daughter has come! I hope she will never have to endure another open heart surgery or know the pain involved in the recovery. I hope for Ivy as she grows older that she will not remember the pain and discomfort of this difficult time but, rather she will become a better, healthier, stronger Ivy.
I can never repay Dr. Emani (my daughters’ surgeon), the doctors, nurses and staff at BCH for what they have given my daughter….LIFE!!! I am sure you will agree that they provide world class care for their patients and we are lucky to have them! While I may not know exactly what you are going through or what it is like to stand in your shoes. I do know as a mom I would go to the ends of the earth for my daughter. With the love, dedication, courageousness and faith you show through your blog posts I know you would too. I am sure you look forward to the day when this just all seems like a bad dream and your children are all playing together at your house with Ivy happily running around and laughing.
Ivy is a miracle 5 times over!!!! Strong and determined she has a will to overcome these obstacles and be with you and the rest of her family. You are all in my prayers daily for a quick recovery and a long happy, healthy life as a family!!!! Hugs and prayers from Western Massachusetts.

Jamie Lynn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jamie Lynn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
LaKasha Strickland said...

Your so right....the reality doesn't set in on what she has been through five times until I watch the videos, its the sounds of it all that bring measure to it. I can not believe that she has endured so much so many times. She is favored my the Lord and she has a great purpose for life and being here. I am so sorry that you have been through so much with her but so happy her perfect fit mommy found her to walk this journey beside her. I think it is so normal to doubt but clarity always comes rushing in afterwards and then you just know that you know. Praising our glorious Lord with you today! Love yall

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing. What faith you have! It is so beautiful and such an inspiration to this Mama!

May God continue to bless sweet Ivy and everyone who loves and cares for her.

TJ

Virginia said...

What a fighter! Both of you! I am so thrilled to hear that all of her numbers are coming back so good. Thank you for sharing Ivy's story, it has helped many, myself included, to grow just that much more in our Faith. Hugs and continued prayers from Kentucky.

Gin =)

Anonymous said...

Thank you ,Mary ,for allowing us in this special place with Ivy!! so wonderful a mom chosen by GOD to be --that you are !! God be praised !! thank you for sharing your deepest feelings and thoughts and most of all for ALLOWING US TO LOVE IVY JOY!!!Continued prayer,love and blessings,Cathy in Illinois!!

Bridgette, Michigan said...

You are an amazing Mama! Praying for Ivy Joy!

Kristi said...

Oh be.still.my.heart. Poor baby girl but clearly so full of life post-op #5, simply amazing!! Thank you for such an honest post. ..All of the things you said about second guessing due to all of Ivy's suffering make perfect sense,...what I mean is that these very thoughts that you had prove that you were and are meant to be Ivy's mom. In my mind, these thoughts = TRUE PURE and SELFLESS LOVE of a MOM. When the heart issues first started up in 2013, in one of your posts you included a sentence that to me seemed a hint of all of these thoughts that you have shared in this post. That one sentence broke my heart and honestly, made me change my prayers a bit...to make sure that I included "if it is your will Dear God". So glad that it was and I pray for you and Dear Ivy that the road ahead will be more predictable and much much easier. God bless!

Anonymous said...

I think of you and Ivy every day Mary as I pal around with my 2 almost 3 y.o. Empress and imagine you both doing the same one day soon! This is a lovely post and I was having some of your same thoughts about Ivy and what she has been through time and time again. I pray that this really is all for her this time. She is an amazing and strong little miracle. No matter what one's religion, how could that be doubted! I don't think any adults could survive what she has survived. I hope the days ahead are quiet days of healing for you both. Thank you for sharing your story. With admiration, Dale

Anonymous said...

heading to bed sporting my Ivy JOY tshirt. Whoever says God does not work miracles anymore has obviously never met this little princess!! Lifting up praise for this moment and continuing to pray for the remainder fo the journey. "And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us" Heb 12:1...Keep running, mama...keep running!!

shannon (mama to 2 korean princesses)

amy maze said...

ivy is a true miracle and you and your family are a true picture of faith. i simply cannot imagine what you've gone through...everything written and unwritten that you've experienced. i'm praying so earnestly that this is your final emergency/heart related battle that you all have to fight together. thank you for allowing all of us on part of the journey with you. the videos are amazing. may peace and unexpected blessings be yours in all the days that come!!

Robin Snyder said...

Bless your sweet girl for enduring so much! My heart breaks as I cannot imagine Kieran who is very close in age to Ivy going through this. You are a strong and noble momma. We send our prayers up to for your sweet girl and family. Much praise for the results so far! God Bless!

Robin Snyder said...

Bless your sweet girl for enduring so much! My heart breaks as I cannot imagine Kieran who is very close in age to Ivy going through this. You are a strong and noble momma. We send our prayers up to for your sweet girl and family. Much praise for the results so far! God Bless!

Heather H. said...

Thank you, Kim, for responding to "Anonymous"'s rudeness. Much as I feel about people who wish to censor TV, movies, or books, I feel for this person who wants to censor (and censure) a family's journal: if you don't like it, DON'T READ/WATCH/etc.! Thank you for speaking up. I really wanted to, but everything I wanted to write in the heat of the moment included swear words and antagonism, which would only take away from the importance of the original post.

Mary, I am in awe of you. I know you are doing simply what must be done. But I am in awe of you, just the same. Thank you.

 
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