I took her to the pediatrician again yesterday for a full check up and we go again on Friday. I know I am being a bit aggressive with my concerns but we have traveled the unknown road with her far too many times and most of the time everyone thinks things are fine and then suddenly they are not. I see little things that appear normal to someone who doesn't see her every day and really know her so don't think Im crazy, I'm just making sure I cover all of my bases because that is my promise as her mama.
As much as I want this to be just the flu and on its way out.. and boy will I be thrilled when its on its way out.... I'm still on guard and my antennas are not resting. I will be the first one to jump for joy when someone say, told you so, just the flu!
So yesterdays appointment. Despite round the clock breathing treatments, her O2 was 88. This is low for Ivy Joy. She was in the 80's when we took her to the pediatrician when this first started and around 89-90 when we were discharged from our ER visit at the hospital. So really, no improvement. She sounded very junky and very tight, all the same as our previous checks.
We see the Pulmonologist on Monday. Im sure if she is still looking like she does today, we will get some answers. She still answers, not good, when I ask her how she is feeling. But when the pediatrician asked her, she replied, I'm great!!! She is so stinking sweet! When I told her we were going back to the doctors yesterday she said, no! I take my medicine! I take my breathing treatments with no crying!! I drink my water!! It broke my heart in tiny pieces! She was so scared she would be going back in the hospital.
I was looking back at some old posts this morning. I should never have done that!! We look forward, not back. The past is over. I know I know. But I looked back at January 6th, 2013. You can find it if you go back in the archives to that date.
I think as a mom of a kiddo like Ivy, my feelers will always be out and while I attempt each morning to cast my fears unto Him and lay my worries at His feet... As a human, as a mommy, as her mommy, It is not entirely possible for me to let it all go. I am certain God made me this way knowing all along who would be my daughter. I can not get out of my head.... Cough could be caused by blood backing up. But I have a cough, Bryan has a cough... I need to let it go. My girls sing Let It Go from frozen all day long. Well Ivy used to before she got sick.
I'll be back her Friday. Prayerfully with some very good news about this Flu...